Today has me thinking a lot about motherhood. Growing up I always wanted to be a mom, I always wanted lots of little me’s running around. Once Cora was born I realized that my “little me” looks 100% like a girl version of my husband, but it’s ok. I always expected motherhood to be different then what it actually is. I expected to just “know”, through that motherly instinct people talk about, how to do what all mothers do well. I expected that my kisses would suddenly contain the ability to cure every boo boo, my embrace would calm any cry, and that I would have the capacity to do everything I was already doing, plus being a mom, with ease. This was not what happened. To be honest, I sometimes wonder if I will ever truly know what I’m doing?
Being a mom has changed me in so many ways. It has brought out the short tempered, selfish, not so pretty Lexi, parts of me that I never knew were there. It has stretched me mentally, physically, and emotionally. It has taught me to slow down, look to my Father, and realize that I need His always promising filling of my soul in order to joyfully pour into my husband and child without the quick burn out. Being a mother has sharpened me and has given me opportunity after opportunity to grow into the women God has called me to be.
My expectations of motherhood have changed and I’m forever grateful for the reality and character check motherhood has brought to my life. I’m grateful that the ultimate lover, life-giver, and nurturer is blessing me with the beautiful days that motherhood brings, but also is redeeming the ugly days and making me more like Him. I’m learning that through it all God isn’t as concerned with our happiness as he is with our holiness, and he has created motherhood as a beautiful tool to reflect His character in this world as well as transform our hearts to look more like His.
The day I became a mom was one of the happiest days of my life. I am so grateful for my Cora Rose, my sweet baby girl, that has brought me the greatest joy and most beautiful days. I am forever grateful for the privilege of being her momma and the journey of motherhood she has brought me. You are sweet as honey and more beautiful than any flower.
If you’re a mother, I pray that today is full of breakfast in bed, homemade cards, and your little “you” whether big or small, near or far, sending you love. You’re awesome, You’re strong, You’re in the opportunity of a lifetime.